Archive for January, 2016

Why speaking “her language” is more important than speaking English fluently

Friday, January 15th, 2016

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In previous post we have talk about fluency in English and its role in the dating process. I would like to start this post with a question from one of my students:

Andrey: Max, what does it mean when you say that you have to speak “her language” in order to succeed with her?

I will probably make you a bit confused when I tell you that speaking English fluently isn’t so important in dating as opposed to knowing a bit of popular culture of the country that you might soon call your new home.

It is so simple when you think about it. I observed what people are mostly taking about while living in 3 different countries Russia, Germany, Canada. They talk about things like weather, sports, politics, TV shows, celebrities. Only decorations change, topics stay the same, people talk about the same things everywhere.

I found that a person tends to connect with you faster if you talk about things that are familiar to him or her. As a seasoned romantic adventurer;-), you know the value of connection and trust in dating process. I decided to use it in my dating system for immigrants. I came to the conclusion that I connect with a girl much faster if I tell her few words commenting on some popular TV show rather than give her a speech in excellent English about socio-economical prospect of Ural Region in Russia ;-).


I remember in 2009 I was on a double date. [ I often take my student on double dates to demonstrate my dating system in action. They can observe and learn things much faster that way]. There were two Canadian girls, my Russian student and I. Well, it worked out pretty well for me. 😉

When I asked a girl, while she was dressing up and putting her make up on, what her friend thinks about my student, she got confused and said that Brittney thought that he is bit “fobbish”. I interviewed my student in details about that date and found that it was the lack of knowledge of North American pop culture that earned him this title. 😉

That was a perfect example that it is not the level of your proficiency in English but mostly the level of knowing the local way of living, in our case North American culture: showbiz, TV shows, sports, politics and ability to use those topics during conversation.

When my student and Britney talked, they just couldn’t find common topic. She asked him if he watches The Big Bang theory and he didn’t know what to answer because he only watched Russian TV shows all the time.

Later on, I have noticed that people who are labeled “fobbish” are lacking knowledge about the country where they are living while having a huge baggage from their home country. They start their sentences with words like: back home, back in Russia, back in China.

Canadian newcomers

Just for the record it is absolutely normal to know more about your country of origin but the more you are integrated in your new home the more  successful you are with women, I found. It depends on a person’s age and his or her goals how long it will take him to lose that “fobbishness“.

Being very scientifically minded, I started looking for the most effective way to bridge that gap. Having had experience from successful integration in Germany I have built my own program of  integration – Quick Immersion in Canadian Culture Program as part of my AttractWithAccent dating system for immigrants. It helps you integrate yourself extremely fast in your new home and catch up fast with popular culture. [for the record it can be used in any other countries due to its versatile content nature]

If you don’t educate yourself on that topic please don’t feel sorry for yourself if people see you as a second Borat and you had sex with local girls in quantities as scarce as hen’s teeth. 😉

But I am realist and know many people who don’t want to spend time integrating into a new country.

It is fine with me. Just read books of my AttractWithAccent series and you’ ll be like this fella but who know how to attract girls. 😉