Archive for the ‘Dating Advice for Immigrants’ Category

Why speaking “her language” is more important than speaking English fluently

Friday, January 15th, 2016

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In previous post we have talk about fluency in English and its role in the dating process. I would like to start this post with a question from one of my students:

Andrey: Max, what does it mean when you say that you have to speak “her language” in order to succeed with her?

I will probably make you a bit confused when I tell you that speaking English fluently isn’t so important in dating as opposed to knowing a bit of popular culture of the country that you might soon call your new home.

It is so simple when you think about it. I observed what people are mostly taking about while living in 3 different countries Russia, Germany, Canada. They talk about things like weather, sports, politics, TV shows, celebrities. Only decorations change, topics stay the same, people talk about the same things everywhere.

I found that a person tends to connect with you faster if you talk about things that are familiar to him or her. As a seasoned romantic adventurer;-), you know the value of connection and trust in dating process. I decided to use it in my dating system for immigrants. I came to the conclusion that I connect with a girl much faster if I tell her few words commenting on some popular TV show rather than give her a speech in excellent English about socio-economical prospect of Ural Region in Russia ;-).

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I remember in 2009 I was on a double date. [ I often take my student on double dates to demonstrate my dating system in action. They can observe and learn things much faster that way]. There were two Canadian girls, my Russian student and I. Well, it worked out pretty well for me. 😉

When I asked a girl, while she was dressing up and putting her make up on, what her friend thinks about my student, she got confused and said that Brittney thought that he is bit “fobbish”. I interviewed my student in details about that date and found that it was the lack of knowledge of North American pop culture that earned him this title. 😉

That was a perfect example that it is not the level of your proficiency in English but mostly the level of knowing the local way of living, in our case North American culture: showbiz, TV shows, sports, politics and ability to use those topics during conversation.

When my student and Britney talked, they just couldn’t find common topic. She asked him if he watches The Big Bang theory and he didn’t know what to answer because he only watched Russian TV shows all the time.

Later on, I have noticed that people who are labeled “fobbish” are lacking knowledge about the country where they are living while having a huge baggage from their home country. They start their sentences with words like: back home, back in Russia, back in China.

Canadian newcomers

Just for the record it is absolutely normal to know more about your country of origin but the more you are integrated in your new home the more  successful you are with women, I found. It depends on a person’s age and his or her goals how long it will take him to lose that “fobbishness“.

Being very scientifically minded, I started looking for the most effective way to bridge that gap. Having had experience from successful integration in Germany I have built my own program of  integration – Quick Immersion in Canadian Culture Program as part of my AttractWithAccent dating system for immigrants. It helps you integrate yourself extremely fast in your new home and catch up fast with popular culture. [for the record it can be used in any other countries due to its versatile content nature]

If you don’t educate yourself on that topic please don’t feel sorry for yourself if people see you as a second Borat and you had sex with local girls in quantities as scarce as hen’s teeth. 😉

But I am realist and know many people who don’t want to spend time integrating into a new country.

It is fine with me. Just read books of my AttractWithAccent series and you’ ll be like this fella but who know how to attract girls. 😉

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Best Places To Meet Canadian Girls For Canadian Immigrant

Sunday, August 23rd, 2015

Here is new video for you guys in which I share my personal secret: Best places to meet Canadian women  if you are  a newcomer to Canada, Canadian newcomer, a person with a work permit for Canada or with a student visa to Canada.  I hope you will like this new video format of my blogs posts.

 

How fluent should you be in English to be successful with women in Canada?

Wednesday, September 24th, 2014

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“If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.”
Nelson Mandela

“I assess the power of a will by how much resistance, pain, and torture it endures and knows how to turn it to its advantage”.
– Friedrich Nietzsche

“How fluent should you be to be able to attract a local girl?” one of my students asked me once. It is a good question. For many, English language became a touchy issue.

In this series of posts we will discuss importance of English proficiency for your success with women in Canada [or any English speaking country]. We will investigate how fluent should one be in English in order to attract women. Do we need to know slang? What does it mean, when I say that you have to speak “her language” in order to succeed?

The issue of English in dating is comparable to that of money. Do we need money to date women successfully? Some say yes, the more the better; others say that you don’t need a dime. I see money as a resource or a tool that may be very helpful in attraction. Although I calculated once that I only spent $54 CAD during 3 years of non-stop dating. [ See upcoming Book 4, Date Ideas For Immigrants: Learn What to Talk About, Where To Go, What To Do to Create An Unforgettable Dating Experience With Zero Money Investment for answers how I did it without being a cheapster or gigolo]

Same with English – naturally, the better you become the easier the whole process of dating will be for you. But poor language skills are not an excuse to sit at home and feel sorry for yourself. Keep in mind, that spoken words are only 10 % of what you are communicating, 20% – tonality, how you are saying it, and 70% is your body language.

I remember once, in winter 2009, after 7 months in Canada, I skyped with my friend Philip, a talented musician, who was in Russia.

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I called him to tell how frustrated I was. How terrible I feel that due to lack of my English skills I couldn’t date girls that I like and how stressful and disappointing it is. He is a very bright person. After listening carefully, he said, “I feel your pain, brother, but maybe it keeps you from seeing the opportunity that life is giving you”. I got so mad at him, “What opportunity you are talking about?”

He said, “Now you are forced into finding a way of learning how to be successful in dating without speaking English fluently”.

A year later his words were proven to be right. It was so true, that it was a hidden blessing for me, I just couldn’t see it. Well, I did a lot of work to turn a disadvantage into advantage.

I just had to come up with conversational materials for dating that would be easy to pronounce and easy to remember. I just had to know what to say, how to say it and in what sequence and rehearse them at home before I go in public.

In addition to that I had to compensate for my lack of English skills by using kinesthetics [the art of touching], powerful body language and attractive outfits. Later on, it became a foundation of Attract With Accent System™ dating system for immigrants.

Low proficiency in English is not an excuse to avoid meeting women!

It helps, guys, not to sit and wait for five years until you improve your English while only dreaming about girls. Like you, I am not a native English speaker, I had to learn English from scratch.

No matter what your level of English you are, you can still go out and meet girls, but conversation materials need to be adjusted to your level of proficiency. I made materials so super simple (foolproof?) that anyone, regardless of his English level, can use them.3

If you are still concerned about your English, I have good news for you. There is a formula in dating: the more women you date successfully, the more attractive you become for them, the less words you need. I, being a perfect gentlemen, call it a girl’s magnet phenomenon other guys call it differently. :-)

Here is an example of how it works. As part of my dating system for immigrants, Attract With Accent System™ I have developed a 3 Step Approaching Manual [simple step-by-step guide for immigrant men to get girls’ numbers] and Perfect Date Wizard [step-by-step instructions for creating an unforgettable dating experience]. I strictly followed my own script and guidelines for years.

But after a certain period of time, I started deviating from it and I wouldn’t even use my conversational materials anymore. By that time, I had achieved so much success that it created a new strong belief in me that I am a cool guy and women find me attractive.

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In Book 4 of Attract With Accent series I’ll take you on a virtual date with Sylwia. I met this naturally blond busty 24-years-old Polish Canadian girl at the mall. I saw how much she was attracted to me. I didn’t even invest much time into presenting myself in an attractive manner. I just walked up to her and said,” I see that you like me, but I have to go now, give me your number and we will meet soon”.

But it takes time and a lot of experience to sense that in women and then also to convert that into dates, so that she doesn’t feel like an “easy” woman.

In the next post, we will talk about why speaking “her language” is much more important for us, immigrants, as proficiency in English.